S003 EP054

Today marks the first day of Summer 2014. Let's see what Summer has in store for me, can't wait.

AM 93's.

Black Sheep SB's.

Black Sheep SB's.

EPR, San Francisco.

EPR, San Francisco.

EPR, San Francisco.

EPR, San Francisco.

EPR, San Francisco.

Fully Laced, San Francisco.

Fully Laced, San Francisco.

Fully Laced, San Francisco.

Z.

Empire.

--

Five years ago - Vent

I don't usually vent or put out my personal life on here as much as I use to. When I do, I generally let my photographs do the talking. I'm not the best or the greatest trying to sum up things that goes on in my head but I'll try. Since Summer officially started, I was waiting to do a blog entry exactly on this day and every other day how I usually do it. When I did, I decided to check out how many spam comments my blog gets and it was so many. I clicked a few old entries and for whatever reason, it matched up today's date five years ago. In 2009 I had my fair share of good memories and a even more bad memories.


I was clicking through previous entries over and over until I finally stopped and reflected on where my current life position and situation. It was a photo of me pursing nursing and how I was miserable. I hated it honestly, I really did. I knew for a fact I was doing nursing only for two main reasons. One, because my mom is a nurse and she lives life great. Fast forward five years later, she's retiring at the end of this month along with my dad. It's a happy site to see at the same time, my parents are getting older and older each day. As for my dad, I remember exactly what happened and what he exactly said. 


In 2009 I dropped out of college for the second time. I was lost, confused, and didn't have a sense of direction in where my life was heading. That was only a small amount of it. What was worse was the fact my parents just decided to basically give up on me and even getting kicked out my house for not following their dreams of being a nurse. My dad said I would never amount to anything and my mom just didn't care anymore. I wanted to pursue in gaming because that was something I was always good at.


At this time, I never thought photography as a career because I would always do it just as a hobby and I never got any encouragement to really pursue it. This is were kind words really do go a long way because I remember those who told me what my photography was something but I never really took it upon their words to actually really do something about it. In a way when I look back my parents were really just trying to push me because they knew I would be something and not some person who never did grow up, matured, and actually got my stuff together. 


Towards the end of 2009, I was still unemployed and going through a lot in my life but during these rough times I was going through, made me hungry and when I got my stuff together, I knew it was all me. That I would prove those who doubted me and even proved to myself I'm going to make something out myself. At the end of 2009, Mindy and I sat in my room thinking and talking about our life together and we had all these ideas. All these ideas yet we didn't get to far but it wasn't until she finally said "Why don't you pursue photography? It's the only thing that has ever made you happy and I believe you can do it and make it." I knew it was a competitive field and I was such an amateur that I had many doubts but I stuck to it. Ever since that night, I stuck to it and worked on my photography career.


Fast forward five years. I'm constantly working everyday and ever night. Up late at night barely getting any sleep, pursuing and chasing my dreams. I lose sleep, time with family, friends and it never ends but I feel you have to be selfish in order to achieve your dreams. I believe this is why I'm so hungry and do what I do. I stopped caring for so many purposes and at times it may feel wrong but it's a goal I've been hungry five years ago which feels even longer. Listening to Big Sean's Finally Famous & Hall Of Fame albums, he has two tracks called Memories & All figured Out. Like I said I sometimes can't put into words but musicians do. 



"Today I woke up and realized every day gets shorter,
Every minute turns into the longest second, yet never ending,
Age is nothing but a reminder and it doesn't tell you,
And remember why you do what you do,
The adrenaline rush of creating what you think about,
With who thinks about you, your family, your team,
The joy of looking back and saying that you did it,
Because In the end you have memories."
Five years ago -  End Vent

0 comments: